I suddenly thought of something stupid.. but fun... Just now @ cwp. Bryan's friend asked whether I was 18 years old. Goodness... sometimes it can be really misleading if a 23 year old me force myself into an NJC PE t-shirt to give people the impression that I'm 18 years old.

Since I can mislead ppl.... I'm thinking of planning a gate crashing session to the JCs with my mates. We'll wear our sec sch uniforms.... hohohohohoh....

Lemme plan....

Finally. after months of procrastination.... I hit the gym... 2 times in 2 weeks. All the memories of 2 years ago came back.

Enjoying the feeling of.....

struggling like mad, ur friends encouraging u to the that fuckin' extra rep even when u have maxed out ur fuckin muscles.

rolling that extra 500 metres even when we agreed to stop 2 500 metres ago.

maxing ur physical self so much so that it's a struggle to walk from the gym to causeway point

making sure that taking ur clothes off. shampooing ur hair. soaping ur body. and raising ur arm beyond ur shoulders became a difficult thing to do

shouting all the vulgarities u knoe just to lift up that weight. just that this time things are a little different from years ago. Ren would go "I love my job... I love my job.. I love my job" then, he'll talk to that impossible weight "u fuckin' shit, y u so light?????" and the last struggle went like "chi pink chi pink chi pink chi pink chi pink chi pink chi pink...."


ha. gym certainly is fun. need to work hard. work hard to continue doing this till the day i see myself in the mirror and am proud of it...... hopefully.

to give up or not to give up?
to move on or not to move on?
will i or will i not regret?
will she be better off without me?
will i be better off without her?

Questions, questions... and more questions....

2 months later....

how time flies. it's the beginning of 2008 already. it feels to me that 2007 just flashed past me like a train that's not making a stop at my station. a slight wind that flashed past me and that's it. a shooting star that wizzed past me without me realising. that's how fast 2007 passed by. it went by pretty quickly, @ least for the first 3 quarters of that year.

Looking back @ 2007:

Life was simple, i was just as happy as i am, working, studying, wookie-ing, hanging out with my mates. soon, i got quite tired of my miserable pay as an engineer in my old company and finally decided to quit my job and find a new workplace that pays me better. i found that job. pays quite well, but was abit boring cause i thought it was quite brainless. hmm.. @ least i could concentrate on my studies for abit. i made many new friends, got closer with my school mates @ canberra, started hanging out with them, enjoying a totally new social circle. i learnt to sing. travelled to thailand to celebrate their new year. got to know some thai friends and enjoyed my time with them, learning their culture and way of life over there. went to kl for wookie anniversary trip. learnt that there are really nice j.co donuts over there which singapore don't franchise(for now i guess).

but it was the last quarter of my life that slowed it down abit. or rather, a great deal. i met miss simple-yet-complicated. well it started @ the end of oct. i started having feelings for her. i started liking her. i knew she's attached, but i continued to like her. finally in nov, i confessed to her. well she didn't knoe wat to do @ first, but in the end we ended up liking each other. we knew it wasn't right, we promised to keep a distance from each other, but always ended up closer together after. we studied together. shopped together. gave each other little notes of love and care. did many things together. hung out with each other till the early hours of the morning before finally going home. listen to each other's whining and how our day has gone. caring for each other. then we tried our best to piss each other off. hurt one another. ignore each other. play stupid and tiring mind games with each other. in the end she realised she love her bf too much to leave him, to give him up. that's how she made me cry - because we can't be together. she made me think. she made me know what's love. and she showed me how love hurts. she made me, breaks me, took me to heaven and showed me hell. i guess that's life ya? it's ironic. i wanna give up. i really want. i'll try. but i guess it takes time. i can only learn to hate her to ferget her. so my parting words for miss simple-yet-complicated which i hopefully won't use it... u can rot in hell for all i care.

so that was 2007. simple, with a bit of complications. i learnt that the people around me care for me. made me think that i'm a blessed boy with friends that really care fer me. today's my birthday. just wanna look back abit @ 2007 before hanging out with my mates who will be celebrating my day with me. thank god fer them.

in the end, life goes on. people move on. let's welcome 2008 with open arms. a new year with new hope. new love. a new beginning for everyone.